Im going to shower and hopefully have a breakdown in there so that nobody has to see it in person. And it will probably make me feel a million times better. And then I’m going to finish my online certification to handle toddlers and 3-5 year old children because I need to have that completed by 7:30am because of our day care field trip tomorrow.
This shall be fun.
BUT I DONT SEE HOW YOU CAN SAY THESE AMAZING THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT MYSELF AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS AND TREAT ME SO KINDLY YET I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO END UP NEVER PICKING ME.
YOU GIVE ME ALL THIS FALSE HOPE AND PLAY SO MUCH WITH MY EMOTIONS AND YOUVE MADE ME CRY NUMEROUS TIMES OVER STUPID STUFF THAT WASNT WORTH IT.
AND I HARDLY CRY ANYMORE.
I’M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SITUATION.
JUST FUCKING TELL ME ITS NOT ME ALREADY AND STOP MAKING ME WAIT SO LONG TO HEAR THAT. YOUVE DONE THIS BEFORE, IT SHOULDN’T BE MUCH HARDER A SECOND TIME AND FUCK MAN.
JUST TELL ME CUS I KNOW IM NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU MADE ME SEEM.
I just can’t deal with this anymore.
You do too.
I’m not going to “win” this one.
What you do won’t surprise me.
It will upset me, but I will have to cope with it I guess.
I’ve lost this one once, and I’m sure I’ll loose it again.
Just please don’t walk out of my life either. I know I’m not perfect. You of all people know that. But still. Please do not leave either. I realize that I will never be your first choice, or so I’ve taught myself to believe that. But who knows maybe things changed in the last two years. Or you got to me and actually made me feel special and now you’re fixing to take that feeling away. I don’t know anymore. I just really don’t know.
I hate this waiting game I’m being forced to play.
It’s just not fun.
I’ve always wondered if God gets excited when we finally find the person He created us to be with. Or if He is watching and is like, “That was them! NO. NO. TURN AROUND! YOU MISSED THEM! THAT WAS THEM!”
“UGH, WHY ARE ALL MY OTPS WALKING BY EACH OTHER WITHOUT NOTICING!”
We are in a giant reality tv show and God and the angels are the fandom.
thunderstorms are nothing more than ship wars going on in heaven